The violence of comparison

'I feel sad, he is wasted'. I was recently told this by an esteemed special educator while we were discussing Dhruv. He was comparing Dhruv to other older special kids who are by Dhruv's age now able to get vocational training in various short duration jobs of a repetitive nature. While the comment was both heartfelt and in good intention, it posed many questions to me.
Is my son not enough because he compares poorly to another with a different abi...lity? Have i not already seen the havoc, such comparisons have caused in his emotional well being. 'Iam watching you'- words that another special educator used to control him when he was half his present age, still haunt the poor 16 year old. In another school, he was made to sweep floors and dust- as part of vocational training, perhaps which he couldn't do efficiently enough, even now, when he feels useless, gets him to to go on a sweeping binge in the house. Did that special educator think, what am doing to this child? Am I making him feel confident, validated, in control? Isn't that the job of an instructor?
We set standards by comparison. From the best to the worst, where do you stand?
I think today that everything that was ever invented, discovered or thought of anew, was done in the isolation of one person bettering his own world, not because he wanted to compare better than others, but because he wanted to compare better than his own yesterday.
When a person is compared to xyz, isn't that a violence that we impose?
Today i stand with two decades of striving behind me, striving to prove my merit as an architect, then a home- maker, then a special mom, then a support center co- creator. When will i prove my merit ever? I am enough as i am. I dont want to prove anything to anyone. Iam not ever going to be enough for anyone else. A friend once told me, if you lost weight you would look like Aishwarya Rai. It made me go for endless walks and endless diets. But the reality is i will never be enough, even if i looked like aishwarya rai, because even She is not enough! With her wooden face and squeaky voice has not even one acting performance that one can recall as timeless. Whats the point?
I want to tell Dhruv - he is enough. When he asks me- 'Do you miss Daddy' 'Are you angry with him?'.. i know he hits the nail on the head of the lapses of my inner life. He knows something I don't.
When he smiles his glorious smile, with twinkling eyes and tickles me and says 'Laugh', i know he is more than anyone i met in recent times.
He has something that no one else has, and its upto me to help him get that out. Am going to kill him if i compare and I can't bear that anymore.
Am done with comparison.