The Bengaluru murder of the special needs child is creating so much furore, so many viewpoints.
A child is supposed to be a 'bundle of joy' and a factor that brings couples together, a 'future' to look forward to. But what if nature bestows a different different paradigm and a special child is born?
The pressure that a mother faces is manifold-
1. The child itself- sometimes speechless, sometimes bed- ridden, sometimes violent, sometimes unfit for schools, untrainable in toiletting, alone and always demanding.The pressure to be a caring and loving parent, inspite of all this.
2. The spouse- who may or may not understand No. 1 and the toll its taking on you. His presence if understanding is a support, if not understanding is ...?
3. The family- yes immediate family are the worst pressure at times with their judgemental views of you, your parenting styles, comparisons.
4. Friends- who?? No friends around. Lady.. you've been deserted. No one calls you for a chat about their mils, or about a sale to go shopping together, or a coffee to laugh together.
5. The sibling- the deep sadness that the mother feels that i have burdened my other child with a load no young shoulder should have to carry. The guilt of not having time for the sibling.
6. Doctors, special educators, therapists- who demand you to learn this, do that, try this.. who are we? Hercules?
7. Last but not least- another special mom! Who has no filter, and will easily and quickly give you solutions which are unworkable, advice which is so off the point, and simply ignore you when you scream for help!
A child is supposed to be a 'bundle of joy' and a factor that brings couples together, a 'future' to look forward to. But what if nature bestows a different different paradigm and a special child is born?
The pressure that a mother faces is manifold-
1. The child itself- sometimes speechless, sometimes bed- ridden, sometimes violent, sometimes unfit for schools, untrainable in toiletting, alone and always demanding.The pressure to be a caring and loving parent, inspite of all this.
2. The spouse- who may or may not understand No. 1 and the toll its taking on you. His presence if understanding is a support, if not understanding is ...?
3. The family- yes immediate family are the worst pressure at times with their judgemental views of you, your parenting styles, comparisons.
4. Friends- who?? No friends around. Lady.. you've been deserted. No one calls you for a chat about their mils, or about a sale to go shopping together, or a coffee to laugh together.
5. The sibling- the deep sadness that the mother feels that i have burdened my other child with a load no young shoulder should have to carry. The guilt of not having time for the sibling.
6. Doctors, special educators, therapists- who demand you to learn this, do that, try this.. who are we? Hercules?
7. Last but not least- another special mom! Who has no filter, and will easily and quickly give you solutions which are unworkable, advice which is so off the point, and simply ignore you when you scream for help!
Before posting one negative comment, think when was the last time you called a special mom and showed a glimmer of friendship? If you ever did even once, am sure it was a rewarding experience. You caught up with the 'real'! If you haven't do it now! Its never too late!
And dont be surprised if she wants to talk about Gurmeet Ram Rahim or Mumbai rains and not about her tale of no 1 to 7. She needs a break, for heavens sakes!!!!!
And dont be surprised if she wants to talk about Gurmeet Ram Rahim or Mumbai rains and not about her tale of no 1 to 7. She needs a break, for heavens sakes!!!!!
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