2600 years ago around 480 to 400 BC lived a man who found a way out of misery in life and he went about teaching that way. Gautama, the Buddha, started a new religion, though that was never his aim. And now, over the years, Buddhism to the common man represents, meditation, chanting, the Dalai Lama, and monks or nuns in robes with wise preachings. People seek and find a sense of peace through the various practices of Buddhism. But are they all the way out of Misery/sorrow..is that what the Buddha really wanted us to do?
No! says Stephen Batchelor, a proponent of 'Secular Buddhism', an erstwhile monk, who de-robed after a decade-plus as a Gelukpa monk, went on to marry a fellow nun, and has done extensive research on what the Buddha really taught. Just as Christianity of our churches, popes and the Vatican has little to do with what Jesus the Nazarene actually said...the same is true for Buddhism.
Stephen says, the core teaching of the Buddha is to embrace the sorrow, look at the reactions the sorrow gives, end the reactions, and charter an action plan to tackle the sorrow or life in general. This is the 'Four Noble Truths', something we have all read about, which Stephen says, would be more accurate to describe as the Four tasks. Nirvana as per the Buddha is the sense of peace these four tasks when accomplished gives, is not a constant state, but a result of this effort, in dealing with our reactions to life and its problems. Nirvana is not some state of heightened consciousness, as per the Buddha's original teachings.
Stephen says 'the four noble truths' may not have been the Buddha's expression at all, that Buddha meant four 'tasks' that need to be undertaken constantly which will then become what one can call -' a practice'. This minor change in words actually subverts the original instructions extensively. To work on Embracing (E) , Letting go (L), Seeing it go (S), Acting(A), ELSA is what Stephen says was the Buddha's core teaching. Action refers to the Eight-fold path.
Let's look at special needs from this viewpoint.
What is 'Special Needs'. Essentially it refers to the very special needs that an individual has, which usually needs the help of people or society at large, to be met. Today we have umpteen resources to get help for the persons with special needs. This help may be free or paid for, as long as the person benefits, life goes on.
Generally, a person with special needs requires support all his life, in some form or another. Underlying this support is a sense of compassion and care for another sentient being.
So the first task- is to Embrace this occurrence in your life. You as a parent, have to take life-long care of your child. This is a hard reality. It's what life has served you. Ask yourself, do you embrace this deal? Do you accept this new mode of life? You can't live only for yourself, you have to live for another too.
The second task is dealing with your reactions and Letting them go. The reactions usually are anger, sadness, helplessness, desperation, hopelessness. Recognizing thoughts like that, and not getting caught in a mental loop, of repetitive negative emotions and thought, requires mindful awareness of such thoughts creeping in.
The third task is to end the reactionary thoughts, See them go. How do we do that? We do that by making an opposite resolve in our mind, give ourselves hope against hopelessness, joy against sadness, the power to change against helplessness, calm acceptance of the situation as against anger.
The fourth task- Action- what do we do now, access all avenues that will alleviate the suffering, help in all the previous three tasks, get professional help, get family support, get neighbors to support, schools workplaces, In other words, the positive steps we take to truly help the person with special needs.
To conclude like all problems, the expert dissecting awareness, and action of parenting a special child, that the Buddha suggests as a tool to overcome pain is the best way to handle the situation. Thus handled, a parent can daily experience the bliss of Nirvana and an end to his or her suffering.
Isn't it a beautiful method?
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