Its all about attitude and getting the right one at that. All of life's problems fade away when one discovers the correct attitude. Living in the special needs world since we discovered it 14 years ago, so much of my attitude has changed- from being a very hands-on mother who HAD to get her child to speak, toilet train, learn, and now to a more chilled mom who goes along with what the teenaged boy wants and lets him lead the way, a LOT has changed.
Along the way I learnt a few things which I think are quite 24 carat gold in advice or opinion, I shall myself say!
- if you have a child with autism, work on COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION- whether by teaching to type, to speak or sign language! The child's life quality will be inversely good based on how well he can communicate.
- Also for all special kids- at some point STOP being the helicopter plus dictator parent and start becoming a friend, a guide, an empathiser.
- If your child has seizures-STOP worrying about seizures in the future- don't live like that. Hope for the best!
- If your child is physically challenged- use TECHNOLOGY- work towards ease of life for both of you.
- If your child is hyperactive- don't worry too much. But if he is so hyper that he cant learn a thing- don't hesitate on giving medicines- they are like insulin for type 2 diabetes- NO WAY OUT!
- Please don't make an enlightened master out of your child! You don't know what his past lives were like, just as you are oblivious to those of your watchman's. So quit making your child into a little Ramana!
-EXPERIMENT on different schools, therapies, medicines, approaches. Don't give up. If you find some improvement with one, DON'T advice others, just inform if asked. Everyone finds some truth in something.
- Accept that you have a different life- one that teaches you to be compassionate and understanding. Don't be a bore, but, have fun while at it!
- The special adult will always still be special and will always need compassionate people around. Be aware of that. Create the compassionate universe starting from YOU, now! The compassion that you show today to everyone around will take care of your child when he is older. Create that kindness every moment.
- DONT suspect every child with a delayed milestone as being special! Nature is infinite. Yours was one experience. Just one!
- Don't make yourself into a blackhole for world-wide pity- read the newspaper as often as you can and place your troubles in perspective!
- At the end of the day, you are a parent, you have a child. Parenting is a natural process- the illiterate can do it, even an animal can do it. So don't loose out on your natural instincts of love and preservation. Don't over read, over study, over philosophise. Life is expressing itself through you in the form of your child. Never loose out on the miracle that is your child.
Happy Special Parenting!
Along the way I learnt a few things which I think are quite 24 carat gold in advice or opinion, I shall myself say!
- if you have a child with autism, work on COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION- whether by teaching to type, to speak or sign language! The child's life quality will be inversely good based on how well he can communicate.
- Also for all special kids- at some point STOP being the helicopter plus dictator parent and start becoming a friend, a guide, an empathiser.
- If your child has seizures-STOP worrying about seizures in the future- don't live like that. Hope for the best!
- If your child is physically challenged- use TECHNOLOGY- work towards ease of life for both of you.
- If your child is hyperactive- don't worry too much. But if he is so hyper that he cant learn a thing- don't hesitate on giving medicines- they are like insulin for type 2 diabetes- NO WAY OUT!
- Please don't make an enlightened master out of your child! You don't know what his past lives were like, just as you are oblivious to those of your watchman's. So quit making your child into a little Ramana!
-EXPERIMENT on different schools, therapies, medicines, approaches. Don't give up. If you find some improvement with one, DON'T advice others, just inform if asked. Everyone finds some truth in something.
- Accept that you have a different life- one that teaches you to be compassionate and understanding. Don't be a bore, but, have fun while at it!
- The special adult will always still be special and will always need compassionate people around. Be aware of that. Create the compassionate universe starting from YOU, now! The compassion that you show today to everyone around will take care of your child when he is older. Create that kindness every moment.
- DONT suspect every child with a delayed milestone as being special! Nature is infinite. Yours was one experience. Just one!
- Don't make yourself into a blackhole for world-wide pity- read the newspaper as often as you can and place your troubles in perspective!
- At the end of the day, you are a parent, you have a child. Parenting is a natural process- the illiterate can do it, even an animal can do it. So don't loose out on your natural instincts of love and preservation. Don't over read, over study, over philosophise. Life is expressing itself through you in the form of your child. Never loose out on the miracle that is your child.
Happy Special Parenting!
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